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Thursday, January 16, 2014

Twitter, Head Full of Words... and maybe a little bit of a rant.

Are you ever driving along and your mind wanders and some great thoughts come to your head but it's not like you can pull the car over and write them down? I'm sure you do. Well, it happens to me A LOT! and the passion I feel inside sometimes makes me want to burst.

I joined Twitter last night. Yup, I wasn't going to but I had started to follow Alex and Sierra so I could be up on when their album comes out. They won X-Factor. A show I don't typically watch but somehow I caught the episode when they tried out and I was smitten. So every week, I was glued to the show. There were a couple of other really good singers that had also caught my interest. Anyway, I've been checking their twitter but I didn't have an account of my own. Last night I started perusing and looked up R.'s daughter's account. It's amazing and saddening what these kids post pictures of and the words they say. I want to scream at her, yet, I want to be a stalker so that we can have a view of her life. I don't think the other daughter has an active account. She's an 'adult' now so there's less to have control over with her, but still, it's good to know what goes on with their lives. We just get snippets since the time with their dad is so small due to the fact that they live with mom. So I got riled up about some photos of herself she posted and started checking out her friend's accounts. I suppose, I was just about as bad when I was a teenager, but I didn't have it on social media for not only the world to see, but also, to have it for future employers to see.

I opened an account. I wondered if I would really use it. Who would I follow? What would I put on there? I try to keep a lot of stuff private so I would have to be careful in the desire to rant, which happens at times, especially when the stupidity of others is around me. There are things in the past that I've wanted to share, like a photo of something really cool in a thrift store. Blogging about it is not immediate. By the time you get home, upload the photo, make dinner, take care of the dog, vacuum the house, put things away, spend time with your sweety...the desire to share is gone.

So I opened a twitter account.

This morning I wasted time searching for people I might want to follow. I looked for people that I felt would give me educated information. I looked for artists who's work I love and want to know when they've made a new piece.

I have a love/hate relationship with social media. I like that I can connect with others, whether I know them already, or I've met them through the virtual world. I dislike that I get consumed by it and am not disciplined enough at times to just shut the damn computer off. I like my techno gadgets, but dislike that I only use about 1/10 of their abilities. I like learning more of what the gadgets can do, but I do not like that the information is so vast, that my brain cannot either make sense of it or retain it.

These are some of my thoughts while driving today. Other thoughts were about words I say, or that come into my brain that I feel an immediate need to write down to make them into something. Pillows specifically. I don't know why but whenever I have a clever saying or visual patchwork, I see it on a pillow. Really, does the world need more pillows? So those word thoughts lead me to other thoughts.

Words thought of today....Embrace your inner (fill in the blank) Most of these sayings that I've seen are fluffy and positive. No wonder we are in a world where we feel we are not good enough. If we have bad thoughts, think positive. We're in a bad mood, think positive. Well you know what? why can't we just embrace our crap, too? Be OK with the crap we're feeling.

We (especially women) believe we are not good enough. We should be more like (insert wonderful person's name here). I think we should just celebrate the crap inside of us, too. (I'm working on that) I was and still am the person that will say something inappropriate at a time that I shouldn't. Sometimes it's because I am uncomfortable, sometimes it's because I think I'm funny, sometimes it's because, well, it's just me.

I have a friend 'P' who is similar to me, but a better person than me in many ways. She has a friend, Brenda, who is kind, nice, mellow, organized, doesn't show anger, is an artist, etc. 'P' wishes she was more like Brenda. I find Brenda boring, unexciting, predictable, not funny. All of which 'P' is the opposite of. So whenever she is feeling that she is not 'enough' and should be more like Brenda, I remind her of how dull she would be and that she is wonderful and exciting, and funny and always has really good stories that just happen in her life, almost on a daily basis. 'P' is in her 70's although that age seems way too high for her. If you didn't know this about her and you were talking to her, you'd think she was in her 40's or 50's. Still insecure enough but wise enough. An everyday girl like most of us. She knits like it's nobody's business. She paints, but doesn't think she's good enough, until the painting is done and she has an aha! moment of pleasure. She is an advocate for family and friends when it comes to ill health, and will fight for what's in your best interest if you are under the care of doctors. She is always volunteering to bring a friend that is sick/can't drive/can't walk, etc. somewhere...for a prescription, doctor's visit, a movie or a museum. But, yet, often feels not good enough.

Maybe if we start embracing all that we believe is not good, which is actually us listening to the judgment from others at others, and judgement of ourselves because of what we compare ourselves to in regular life -- then add the virtual world! We're bombarded with the highlights of others.

The other day I got a blog post in my mailbox from a blogger I've been following for quite some time. She said she can't do it as much anymore. It was taking too much out of her, taking her away from her family. She thought she could do it all even with two little ones running around. She realized she can't and she chose her family. I am often amazed at how bloggers can whip up meals, paint furniture, perfectly decorate their houses, have loving partners they pay attention to, have kids that are perfect and do it all again the next day. And I compare myself -- I'm lucky if I can get two things done well in a day. I'm slow and methodical. R. is fast and furious so there's more comparing. He wakes at 5am, goes to work, gets a shit load of personal stuff done after work, takes care of his mom, worries about his kids, takes care of things for me...but he's stressed out, mentally spent and falling asleep in a chair by 8pm. Maybe these perfect bloggers have that, too, but aren't showing us this side. So we need to stop comparing.

And embrace our inner good...and bad.

All this ramble because I got to my job and forgot the key to the my client's house. So on my way back home to pick it up, words were zipping around in my head. I headed straight here and I'm not even going to proofread or see if any of it makes sense.

So, I signed up for twitter. When I get a chance I'll figure out how to put the badge on this here blog so you can follow my rambles there, too, if you want.

Off to work now. Key is in my pocket.

Have a great day!!!

xxoo

8 comments:

  1. I believe that, for the most part, you can have it all.

    You just can't have it all at the same time.

    I tried Twitter. It is not for me. I much prefer the two-way dialog and interconnectedness and room that Facebook engenders. I love FB.

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    1. I suspect Tweeting will lose it's novelty. I'll forget to log in most of the time. LOL I have a personal FB page but within my thoughts today, I was thinking of having a bloggy FB page. It would probably end up being more satisfying. Just have to figure out how to connect it with the blog. I'm sure it's easy...just my brain doesn't 'get' it quickly.

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  2. my head hurts.
    :D
    but I love it.
    I love reading something real.
    I love that you are not perfect, when in fact you just might be.
    I get it.
    I'm tired of looking on the bright side.
    I'm tired of everything going wrong and then thinking, well at least I've got my health!
    (well, maybe...who knows! I haven't been to a doctor in ages and I eat pure crap)
    I was watching that Rebel Wilson show and found myself shocked that she can embrace her fat.
    While I know it's unhealthy, I love that she doesn't let it stop her from just loving life.
    I agree, many young girls are posting awful things.
    and here's the bad inner me.
    Good! maybe us old broads will be hired over them because they don't have sense to be careful about what they post.
    I definitely am GLAD there was no Internet, cell phones etc. to document my wild young years.
    But, sigh...if one of these girls is family, well that's a whole different thing.
    I know that I feel inadequate to all these wonder woman bloggers on many days but then other days I don't give a shit.
    I love the embracing the bad idea. But if you put it out there, just like the pics of these wild young girls, it could come back to haunt you.
    anyway.
    I'm on Twitter.
    Follow me and I'll Follow you.
    I look Fabulous on Twitter (because the photo isn't me! Ha!)
    I need to get a good phone so that I can get on there and also have Instagram...I need it, I need it, REALLY.
    Ya, I spend WAY too much time in the computer, but I have found some REAL friends, sisters from another mother friends. so...
    I DON"T CARE!
    Love ya! - Cindi

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    1. I'll tweet you! LOL
      When I say embrace the 'bad' I don't look at it as putting negativity out there. It's more like embracing that side of you that isn't always good. I'm completely cynical and I used to feel really bad about it, but it's second nature to me, I don't feel it brings negativity to my life, because I don't take it out on other people. If I find that my words are being truly negative or overpowering in a negative way, I turn the words around because it doesn't make me feel good to have the negative thoughts. I've learned to pay attention to how things make me feel, and correct them if I can. I'm also very sarcastic, I used to want to change that but it's really something I've come to enjoy because there's usually humor behind it.

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  3. you? sarcastic?
    bahahahahaha!
    my favorite kind of humor.

    I'm suddenly liking Facebook too.
    Go figure!
    I want to do a public PAGE for my Art.
    a girl at work is going to show me how and when I learn, I can help you, if need be.

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  4. sounds good to me. (I think I'm already bored with Twitter) No surprise here, it's kinda how I operate. :)

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  5. Someday, perhaps today, you will feel just how marvelous you are. If you aren't feeling it today then lean back and know there's a lot of us who know and understand your greatness.

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    1. You're sweet Angela. I wasn't really feeling bad about myself, I just had a lot of ideas swirling around and then the 'what ifs' came, and, and, and.... you know, pretty much like talking to me on the phone sometimes. :)

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts...