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Tuesday, September 24, 2013

A Very Sad Day...Saying Goodbye to Hanzie

A very sad day today. My silly Hanzie boy had his last morning with me. At around 10 a.m. I had to let him go.

April 12, 2004 - September 24, 2013
For the nine years that I have had him, he was notorious for eating things other than just food. I called him 'my little man with an iron stomach.' He'd dine on paper, cardboard, plastic, mushrooms in the backyard and apparently something like string, yarn or dental floss. And this was his demise. It perforated his bowel. An emergency vet visit this morning, he went into septic shock, and there was no hope for him. I had to say good-bye. Not easy. My happy-but-whiney little boy that never had to go to the vet for anything other than a teeth cleaning, made his last visit.

He would be so happy to see people, giving them his smile and teeth chatter that those who didn't know him thought he wanted to bite them. It was his happy face. He loved to be hugged and touched, that was heaven to him.

I rescued Hanzie when he was 5 months old. He spent over 9 years with me, graciously accepting each and every foster dog that came in, (around 85+) even if he wasn't keen on all of them. He would protect Little Bug if he needed to, but I always referred to him as a lover, not a fighter. He talked to me regularly, usually to tell me he was hungry, or to give him attention instead of whichever other dog I was petting at the time, and sometimes just because he was so excited. He was so polite when it came to feeding or treat time. He would patiently sit at a sit/stay until I gave him the word 'eat.' Sometimes his little tongue would stick out a bit and he'd drool from desire. He loved to eat, any amount was never enough, he was always hungry.

This photo of him is one of the last that I've taken, a few weeks ago. He was the only dog with me while on vacation at our campsite. He was such a good boy and often went to his favorite spot...his crate in the back of the car. He would just sit and watch the world go by and when the sun would hit, he lay in it in all it's glory. He loved being at camp, meeting and greeting, taking walks and wandering around in the wooded areas near our site. But his favorite place of all time was in a vehicle, it didn't matter who's or where it was.

He spent most of yesterday in the truck while I was going in and out of the house all day. When left in the house, he would get anxious and barky when I'd go outside, so in the truck he went. He was thrilled. He got to bark at passers by and just lay and take naps, then when I took him inside, he had a big dinner. It is hard to believe that today, he is gone.

I will miss my silly little boy. Rest in peace my sweet Hanzie.  

14 comments:

  1. What a loving tribute you have written.
    Through tear filled eyes, I will type out my deepest sympathies to you.
    I send you strength and love during this incredibly sad time.
    xoxo

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    1. Thank you Cindi. It has been a tough day. I keep going over and over what I could have done so that this would not have happened. The tears don't seem to stop. Although I'm exhausted from being up all night last night with him, I can't sleep. It is too weird -- him not being here. I can't stop thinking about him.

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  2. RIP Hanzie. And sympathies to you and the rest of the pack.

    I'm no stranger to dealing with the little eating machines with beards we call Schnauzers. Lucky both Isaac and Martha are content with their chow and periodically grass. Spaulding later in his life ate anything, and had two ER trips as a result. Though Isaac and Martha are super dogs, I still miss Spaulding.

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    1. Thank you John.

      Yes, the little creatures are known for their desire to eat anything and everything. And when they are gone, they stay deep in our hearts.

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  3. Words cannot express how sorry I am, Denise. Loss is bad enough but nothing is worse than sudden, unexpected loss. Let the tears flow but be kind to yourself. xxoo

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    1. Thank you Sue.

      The tears do continue to flow. I never thought in a million years he'd die at less than the age of 15.

      Trying to not beat myself up with 'I should'ves' -- but it's tough not to.

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  4. Oh my gosh, Denise, I am so sorry. I know you loved Hanzie so much -- and that you love each and every one of the little creatures that make their way to you. It is simply not possible to control everything. Don't beat yourself up. You are doing God's work. xoxo

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  5. Thanks Pam. Feeling a bit better this afternoon, forgiving myself and finding peace.

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  6. Oh dear, I'm so sad for you my friend. Why do these sweet creatures have to have such a short life with us? Hanzie was dearly loved by you and you gave him a wonderful life and he gave you his unconditional love because that's what they do. I will miss hearing about his adventures.

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  7. Hanzi was a dear lucky little guy, you gave him so very much of your heart. He was our Cassy's first boyfriend and I have no doubt that he had a big part in mending the broken hearts of many foster dogs, Cassy among them. He did it well and with great spirit.

    "We" always say that we give them the best lives we can for as long as we can and then we let them go..... such a simple statement that is not very simple in real life.

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    1. I was just thinking about him and Cassy last night. How he'd look at me as if to say, "why is she in my bed with me again?" I even have pictures to prove it. :) He was such a young guy himself, and she was young and feeling lost.

      He was so needy and anxious, I hadn't thought about the fact that he may have helped these dogs that were given up, giving them comfort and guidance in their period of transition. It's a nice thought, thank you.

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  8. My condolences are late, but no less sincere. I know of the emptiness you speak of, and that wistful feeling that if you turn around really quickly, you'll get another glimpse of their earthly body in their favorite spot, as if nothing was amiss. Big hug to you, my friend.

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  9. Thanks, Linda. It's still weird not having him here.

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts...