The New Kids

Someone was watching over me on the day that Angela took Lucy to the vet for to be euthanized so that my mind would not linger on the sorrowful event (although it still did and does) but it has been interrupted by these two little creatures.

Meet Tink, Tinker, or official name: Tinkerbell, age 3 1/2

She is so damn cute and her innocence is so apparent. She's a petite girl weighing maybe 14 pounds. She's happy and easy and a bit shy -- when someone comes into the house, she barks and runs and hides and barks while hiding in her crate.

She's so friggin' cute I could eat her up. She acclimated quickly and has made herself at home. She isn't showing any effects of the change in her life which is good in that a rehoming transition will work easily for her.

Then we have Frank, same day, different family. Age 7.

Frank also barks when meeting someone new that comes in, or someone he's met a few times, and he runs, but not too far because he's too curious, very cautious, but curious. Treats help, but he doesn't trust.

Unfortunately Frank is suffering from the change of life for him. You can see it in his eyes and in his actions. Trauma. There's a few dogs I've had this experience with and once you've gone through it with one, you quickly recognize it in another. You can see that he's not sure of why he is here. He NEEDS (he thinks) to be first for attention. He was the last one paid attention to apparently in his family of humans and 3 big dogs and one small dog. He's just dying to be loved, his eyes say it all. They are somewhat blank, hoping, wanting something. He's accepted me as his alpha human pretty quickly once he found that I'm the one that pets him, let's him out and gives him treats and food regularly. Once he gets used to someone new he is their best friend. Strong men with work boots for some dogs will throw them over the edge and Frank is no different. I am working on desensitizing him to this but he needs socialization and desensitization work to be carried on when he's adopted. Now, it's finding someone that understands this and carries through.

I have found that a lot of people don't want to work with a new dog, they just want it to plop into the family and have it be all peaches and cream. With some dogs, this is how it is. With most, especially rescue dogs that have feelings of abandonment, trauma of change, uncertainty of where it really belongs, there needs to be some work, consistency, obedience training, daily walks. All of this is helpful in bonding and creating a relationship where they understand that the humans are alpha. Problem is, many people don't want to be alpha, don't want to crate, don't want set limitations, don't want to ignore a dog that would have better behavior if often ignored. Many people adopt dogs for their own insecurities, or need for love. This messes a dog up. They don't understand. They need hierarchy and boundaries and rules.

When I tell people they need to ignore their dog, not pet it when it's asking for the attention, etc., they look at me like I'm crazy or they 'yes' me while in their heads they are saying "I can't do that" and then they have a dog that has separation anxiety, that's needy, that misbehaves. I always love it when someone says "oh, when I leave they poop on the rug because they're mad at me" No, the reality is that when you leave, the animal feels anxious and sometimes this results in peeing or pooping. Sometimes it results in chewing on the furniture, ripping apart a rug, tearing apart a shoe. It's anxiety, it's the dog not knowing it's place, it's a dog that needs some help in understanding because unlike us, they don't rationalize. They just ARE what they are feeling.

Wow. I don't know where all that came out of. The frustration, I guess, of people wanting a good animal but not willing to teach it how to be a good animal. The frustration of accepting some things about a dog's personality or quirkiness and not trying to change that aspect of it but to learn how to work with it. The frustration of knowing that Lucy needed understanding, diligent eye care, to be left alone because that is how she was comfortable and to not be forced to be a different dog than she was. An instance of me being "yessed" when inside they were saying, "um, that's a bit unrealistic" and look where it got her.

Yeah, I'm still not over it. It will take awhile because the whole thing was tragic and wrong and a waste. I'm very angry with it.

Then I get this boy, Frank, and see that he didn't get what he needed. That there was too much going on in that household for it to be noticed that he needed something different. Or, maybe people just don't notice, don't pay attention, want animals because they want to love them and be loved and it's just a 'thing' that can be tossed when it's no longer needed. When his owner drove away, there wasn't any sign of sadness or remorse, she actually joked about him needing a hair makeover. It was just one more thing to take care of doing. When two others were brought in together (each of these families are experiencing divorce) the woman that dropped them off was bawling her eyes out. Totally heartbroken that she could not keep her dogs due to her circumstances. I guess really it just goes to show how we are all different. I try not to judge, but like I said, this Lucy thing has me spinning.

so I should shut up now.

but here, you can enjoy a little play time because Tink and Frank became fast friends. Actually, it might be more that he likes the young girls! LOL

**ahhh, crap, the video disappeared.

Honoring Lucy

This is very difficult for me. My heart is broken.

Lucy came back to our rescue with infections in both of her eyes. She was still on eye meds 3x a day for her sight but that seemed to bring even more discomfort and after an ophthalmologist appointment, more medication would have had to be administered. Lucy had regressed and was not the same girl as when she left me. Her fears, pain, and trauma led her to do what a dog will do to protect itself. She began to use her teeth, even though the gentlest hands and tastiest food rewards were being used.

After talking with the vet and having him exam her, he said it was the right thing to do. As difficult as the decision was, we decided to free her of her physical and emotional pain. Angela posted a beautiful tribute to her on her blog today.

I wish I had more, but I am still feeling a little numb about all of this.

Rest in peace my sweet girl.

My Little Lucy Is Back

Lucy in the sunshine -- photo courtesy of Indomitable Angela

Those who have been reading this blog for the past year will probably remember my stories of having Lucy in my care. She was rehomed at the end of October, and she was returned to our rescue on Saturday morning. I have not been able to write about it because it is a very emotional situation for me.

Angela, our treasurer is taking care of her because her home really meets the best requirements for Lucy right now -- quiet, routine and she's available for giving eye meds 3x a day. I'd like to have her here but we had to put her needs first. You can read about her return on Angela's blog. 

My Lucy Girl is Gone

She left just a bit ago. She didn't want to go, or that's how I perceived her body language. Her new owners will take very good care of her, I know, but her little face looked at me like "what are you doing putting me in this crate in this car?" as she was shaking like a leaf. I felt horrible. I couldn't talk and had to walk away and bawl my eyes out. Not really the last image I wanted of her, either. But, I will see her in a month at her next eye appointment...and she will wonder who I am. That's how it is with dogs that you transition, plus, with her being partially shut down anyway and being uncomfortable at the vet...I won't be getting any special how-d'ya-do's.

It's funny. Whenever a dog leaves here, even if it's the quietest dog you've ever met and was absolutely no trouble, when they leave, the house feels different....quieter....the house is quieter.

It won't last long, I'm dog sitting Bella for the weekend, she's a good girl. Next week I get Emma who needs some serious potty training at 4 years old. Yey for me. (yup, that was sarcasm)

Time to get busy to take my mind off things....

I Broke My Camera

Yup! Can you believe it? I was taking pictures yesterday of things for my etsy shop and dropped the camera, lens extended -- and yes, of course, it's the lens that hit the floor. I was not happy. Just when you think you're getting ahead, the myriad of thoughts of buying another camera (this time out of my pocket, R. bought the current one) or paying out the butt for repair...swirl around in your head.

What's a girl to do? head to the computer, find Canon's phone number, call Canon and after answering most of the animated questions, hang up and fill out the form on the Canon website. Which, I'm glad I did because this is what I found out...I don't have to ship it half way across the country, just to VA, the fake phone gal had me sending it to IL. AND! it's under warranty so it's free free free -- I just have to find my receipt, I have my receipt, I always save my receipts...where the #$% is my receipt?

I answered the question on how it was broken and was surprised to find it was covered. I DROPPED IT. they don't cover for stuff like that....or do they really? Of course, once they get it and they possibly find something more wrong with it than the lens ring and shutters completely coming apart, I'll get an email asking me to send them a gazillion dollars to fix it. Or, I'll be pleasantly surprised and they will just send me an email saying they are returning it to me fixed (or sending me a refurbished one, or new one, or old one -- no guarantees on getting your original back) within the 7-10 day turn around time. Hey, as long as it's not all scratched and looking used and abused, I'll be fine.

Can you believe I did this?

Crap -- I wanted to take more pictures of Lucy before she left.

She's leaving me tomorrow.


She will have a good life.


I will worry about her for awhile.


I will see her in a month for her last eye appt. with me. 


I said I would dog sit if she ever needed someone (even though we live 2.5 hours from each other)


I will be fine.

I also wanted to take pictures of the treadle sewing machine I was taught how to clean yesterday so I can get it onto ebay.

UGH! I gotta borrow me a camera!!!

Lucy, Lucy, Lucy

I've put off writing this week because of stupid emotions for this little girl...

Here's the story:

On Tuesday I spoke with a woman (Gloria) about the possibility of adopting Lucy. First of all...someone wants to adopt Lucy! that's HUGE! and although I had already made the decision that she could go soon, and also the decision not to keep her, I don't think I was prepared for someone to fall from the sky and ask if they could have her. This is where Divine Intervention comes into play...after speaking with her for awhile and finding out her history in life...it just made sense. Because of Gloria's journey through life, she had all the makings of who Lucy needs. This is a woman that will let Lucy be who she is and let her continue to develop in her own time. She will nurture her, love her and be dedicated to her needs and care...and understands her...who could ask for more?

But I still had a little nagging bug in my head asking if I could really let her go. I reminded myself that my purpose is to care for and love these animals until the proper home is found for each one. It is not my job to keep them. Realistically, although Lucy has lived with me as my own, making this a 3 dog family, I'm really not interested in owning 3 dogs. Plus, I've always said, if I own 3, that will take up a space for a foster dog to be able to come in.

So after speaking with Gloria for awhile we went ahead and set up a time for Thursday for her and her partner, Tom, to come meet Lucy. My intention was to have them 'visit' like they were friends. I wanted Lucy to feel comfortable and not feel like she was 'on the spot' needing to perform or be a certain way.

For two days I thought really hard about this decision. This couple would be driving over 2.5 hours to visit her, not take her home, but visit her. If I changed my mind about keeping her, there's no way I could do that AFTER they came. I talked a lot about it with friends and R. to get it off my chest. I cried a lot about it because of her silly little face and innocence and Lucyisms, like stealing my socks every morning -- all of these things I would miss.

Fortunately, Thursday was a nice enough day to be able to sit outside and just be. If we stayed in the house, I was afraid that Lucy wouldn't come out of her crate. We talked about things -- dog things, people things, blogs (she's a fellow blogger) food, trips, disease...and that we did, for 3 hours. In between, they were both open to and encouraging my annoying little needy nudgey boy Hanzie. He's a jealous little fella that wants all the attention on him...and they gave it to him. They let him sit on their laps, they petted him, and talked to him. In between they'd put their hand out for Lucy if she came near....and she did. That was one thing I wanted to see. Lucy is more herself when she is outside, she's braver, happy, funny. And although she was timid, she wasn't afraid...well, until she heard a noise or a leaf fell on her head. It's all new to her. I wanted this couple to understand that she is a 4 year old that is learning life as if she is a puppy.

One thing Gloria suggested was that Lucy has PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.) Hit the nail on the head. Due to her work with VETS and handicapped people, she is familiar with emotional destruction....and Lucy has had emotional destruction. The blindness was one thing, but it was the emotional havoc endured being a puppy mill dog for 3+ years. It's almost amazing even, to see that she is a happy dog, that she is curious, that she does want to be a part of life.

As we sat and talked, Lady was laying in the yard and I saw Tom becoming a little enamoured with her. She's a good girl, quiet, an observer. Tom liked this I could tell. A couple hours after being here, I needed to go inside for a sweater. I was getting chilly, but I also wanted to give them a chance to talk amongst themselves so they could decide if this is the dog they really wanted. I came back out, sat down, and Gloria says...."would we be able to take two dogs?" with a sheepish grin. Yes, they wanted Lady, too. Funny thing is, the night before they came, a picture came to my mind that they would want both dogs. Yup, my psychic side had kicked in and I didn't realize it until they asked. First of all, they liked her, and second (and I love this part) they thought it might be good for Lucy to not only have a canine companion but to also have a dog with her that she is familiar with. Hoorah!

Lucy and Lady did not go home with them on Thursday because Lucy has an upcoming eye vet appt. and I didn't want to release her until I found out what medications she'd still be on and when her next visit would be. I was grateful for this because I've needed time to really be set with it. I needed time to adjust. It's amazing what one little 16 pound creature can do to your heart. I've never been this attached to a foster dog. It often seems so silly to me, but then I am reminded by friends that have seen her from the beginning, that have been with me through countless phone alarms going off in one day to give her her eye drops, the many trips back and forth an hour each way to the vet's office, to dealing with the heartache of at one point thinking I had to put her down, to seeing her progress after she got full sight. They remind me, the dedication I've had to her, and they are not surprised when they see me question my decision or when they see my tears. I think they are a little surprised to find out that I am letting her go, but then on the flip side, will say how wonderful it is for Lucy, a dog that we thought might never get adopted due to her inability to be a 'normal' household dog.

It is good for her. She will get walks, she will get attention, she will get love. She will have devoted owners. She won't have to deal with crazy foster dogs screwing up her energy. She will have dog neighbors to play with. It is good, and I know it's the right decision, and I know I will really be fine. I've had significant loss in my life, and this is just a fraction of those, but it hurts anyway, and I know I'll get to the other side...because you just do, and you move on, and you get some other crazy little love in your house that you have to take care of...and you have to live your life. Part of that living for me is trying to make my life a little simpler (my friends laugh at that statement) but I am trying to simplify. Having 3 dogs of my own and then foster dogs, too? that's not simple.

Before writing this today, I saw that Gloria posted a comment on one of the Lucy posts, and she wrote:


"Denise I understand you and lucy have been through a lot and I commend you for the outstanding care and love you have given her. Lucy's ordeal has been far more than physical but emotional. You definitely bond with animals like you do to your new born so I understand letting go of Lucy will be somewhat emotional for both of you so I promise I will do all that I can to make her feel safe and loved. I will also continue a blog, along with pics of both Lucy and Lady so you can keep abreast on their latest accomplishments and life events.
Thanks for all you do for these pets in need, it takes a special person with a lot of heart to do what you do everyday."


She is sweet...she understands. I thought that I'd be able to keep in touch, I hoped that she would put Lucy on her blog so I could see what was happening. I'm glad to see that this is possible. 


Lucy will be going to her new home next week. Lady will be joining her. One day I will stop crying. This is all good, really good. 


Enjoy your weekend. Have a celebratory toast to Lucy. 


Those that have followed her story, supported me through this test....thank you.

Lucy Barked

Yup, a low gruff type of bark. This bark has been very few and far between. I'm not sure what triggered it...Timmy getting in her face, the fact that in order to get to me she had to bypass 4 other dogs, or my neighbor's truck that has a very loud muffler.

I celebrate when she barks because it shows me more of her. I do not encourage barking so it's one of those catch 22's. But for now, I will enjoy the occasional sound of her voice.

These 'firsts' and what feel like firsts even though they may have happened on occasion before...the jump in your heart that happens because it is new, the joy of her becoming more of who she is meant to be...this must be similar to what mom's feel when their babies have firsts, when they get older and learn new things, when one day (and I'm sure I will feel this way if it happens) they have joy and sadness in their hearts at the same time, when their little love leaves the nest and is out in the world.

Lucy's Antics

I just got home, it's before lunch, I'm not feeling great, need to take a nap....

I walk in the house and am greeted at the door by Hanz and Lucy, Lucy looks guilty, or maybe it's just the fluff that's on her face and flits of it on the floor that makes me believe she is guilty of something. There's a shoe and a slipper in a place different from where they were when I left....Uh oh, what did she rip apart? She stayed clear of me, obviously knowing she did something wrong because I've never yelled at her and even now was not showing anger...curiousity? yes.

As I follow fluffs of debris toward my office (and where her crate is) I'm wondering what the heck she could have ripped apart.

A vintage pillow.

I don't think that is a look of remorse.

She's either just becoming more of herself, or she's effected by the fact that 3 foster dogs came in yesterday. She's been playing a bit with them when outside (YES! PLAYING!) and has seemed more animated with them here...maybe they caused too much of a racket while I was away? maybe she's just becoming a mischevous little creature now that she can see and is becoming more confident, maybe she doesn't like red pillows...

You know what this means though? she's getting braver in 'front paws up' on things....

funny thing is, I accidentally locked her crate today because I've crated the new 3 and just blindly did it, as I was leaving I realized it and I went back and opened the crate door. Not such a good idea, I guess.

She's laying in her crate, not looking at me, it makes me chuckle, I can't get mad at her she's so darn cute.

Well, I wasn't sure if I'd be keeping that pillow anyway....

As I cleaned out her crate I also found the other slipper and shoe underneath the mess of cotton fill. She had a lot of fun while I was away! I wish it was on video.

The Lion and the Lioness

Lucy and Hanzie hanging out at camp.

Hanz looks like a lion about to go on the hunt...as Miss Lucy lays around as a Lioness should.

It's All About Lucy

I have to share..................this morning and this evening ------ Lucy wagged her little stump of a tail!!

this is big doings over here. She wagged it only once before, when I was dropping my other two dogs off at my rescue partner's house for dog sitting, she got caught up in the excitement of many dogs (Shelly has, um, a few) and her tail wagged as she also put her paws up on the sofa (never done before)  I think she forgot who she was.

So, this is exciting stuff. I've had her since the end of December and I find joy in every new little thing she does. She's finding her doggy self. She's not always sure about it, but she's finding it. She even has "played" a little. very little. a little jump, a little down dog...I think she's learning.

I also found that when I left her in Nantucket with my friends, she bonded with Carol, who was diligently keeping the schedule of eye drops going. This is also a good sign. She can bond with others.

What's funny about Lucy...she comes to me with no problems when I have a little bottle of drops in my hand and I ask her to 'come.' She trots right to me. But if I have a treat (today it was peanut butter) she is hesitant, comes close, runs off, comes close, runs off...even though she knows she really wants what's being offered.

Yup, there's still work to be done, but progress is being made.

Life's a Trip

Wow! been having lots of fun during my vacation time. Made our way to Nantucket after being in Wisconsin and enjoyed time with friends, relaxing and reading, sunbathing and playing Mexican Train which has almost become an addiction. 

Miss Lucy had some fun, too. Although Angela watched Lucy while we were in Wisconsin, she made the trip to Nantucket with us and stayed on for the following 10 days as we once again went back to Wisconsin. 

But I'll tell you about that in the next post....right now, let's enjoy some sun and beach time in Nantucket, and Lucy's happy face...really, it's a happy face, she'd tell you so. 

these beautiful photos were taken by my friend Chuck with his super duper digital SLR - Wowza!

Lucy goes on vacation??

Well, Miss Lucy went to stay with Angela while I'm in Wisconsin (Neosho area if you live in WI) At first, Angela and her family were a little worried in that Lucy wasn't interested in much of anything. Angela's new kitty Reesie wasn't thrilled at first to have her there (although she loves Angela's dog Cassy) Well, apparently Reesie sat vigil next to Lucy's crate the first night. Has had an interest in her since and apparently is really starting to like her being there. Lucy? well, she's kind of has the "what the?" thing going on it looks like....

Lucy actually came out of her crate yesterday and went to the screen door as everyone was eating dinner outside. She went out, roamed around, did her duties and after about 15 minutes, went back inside. Small steps, but steps.

I think she'll be fine and we don't have to worry about her ability to become somewhat comfortable.

Can I just tell you? it's bleeping hot, humid and the air is incredibly thick...I thought it was hot in CT but this is crazy.

Lucy's new eyes...

The camera gave me a reprieve...

Lucy's eyes BEFORE cataract surgery:

Lucy's eyes AFTER surgery:

she's actually giving me the "what the $%&@ are you putting that thing in my face for?" 

Every time the camera made a noise she tried to run and hide in her crate...new eyes, but she still gets spooked...we're working on that. 


Today she went up AND DOWN stairs with wooden treads. The first time coming down was on her own, she has a tendency to want to fly over a couple, she found out that doesn't really work in her favor. So when it was time to go down again I sat a few steps before her and she carefully walked each step down with me repeating "eeeeeeaaasy" for each one. She done good!!!


When I was getting things back out to my car, although I tried to thwart it, she scooted out the door. Down the road she went (community of condos, not a well traveled street) and I chased after her, calling her, she didn't care, she pretended not to hear me (Schnauzers are good at that) and off she went. Fortunately, she found something smelling pretty good in a yard and I was finally able to get her to heed my call. Silly girl. 


I wish I could get a picture of her smiling...she looks soooo happy, it's very cute. 

That Lucy Girl

I bought Lucy an 'Easy Walk' harness for her after eye surgery walking. I read that you should have a harness instead of a collar so it doesn't strain veins and muscles that lead to the eyes. Makes sense to me. So I did some research and also paid attention to the fact that my neighbor had the 'Easy Walk'. I went to PetSmart, the woman that helped me apparently does some training classes there and just raved about this harness. $26 later, I'm walking out with the latest and greatest.

I put it on Lucy Friday night and wasn't thrilled with the fit, but thought I'd try it for a few days. If I didn't like it on her, I would try it on Hanz, his chest area is built differently so it may fit him better. I don't really care for the way the front loop that attaches to the leash, has a lot of play, but I wanted it for Monday, her surgery date.

After getting home from camp in the early afternoon, I put on my gear and we rode our bikes to a picnic. I got home around 6pm and went to check on Lucy....what do I see? her harness laying on the toweling right next to her -- with pieces missing. She completely chewed the strap that goes under her chest then slipped it over her head to get out of it. She not only chewed the strap, but also the buckles so I couldn't even repair it by sewing it if I wanted to -- and yes, I wanted to.  $26 and 3 days of wear.

I called Angela to tell her of Lucy's antics. She told me that she tried that harness with her Crazy Cassy and didn't like it at all. (I usually ask all around to see if others like things, why I made this decision myself I do not know) she said she tried a few different ones and wasn't happy until she found the 'Sense-ible Dog Harness'....I'll be checking out that one next. Lucy will have an e-collar on for quite some time, so she's not going to be able to chew it off herself if she gets annoyed with it on her. Typically, I'd take it off when not in use but with the e-collar it might be easier leaving it on.

Real Quick -- Lucy Update:

Lucy had her surgery yesterday, I picked her up today, it's very exciting, she can see somewhat...will be able to see more as days go on. She's a little visually overwhelmed, she hates her e-collar. More to come...

Lucy is a Pip

Little Lucy girl is also a Houdini Girl....she did great this long holiday weekend camping. She seemed more comfortable and interested in being outside and with people. She's quite different at camp than at home...it's kind of funny. It's almost like she feels a sense of freedom.

On Sunday we were playing a game of Mexican Dominoes...just learned it the day before, and it is A LOT of fun...especially when it involves a couple of cocktails....ANYWAY...all 3 dogs were tethered to my feet...

sidenote: Hanz and Weezie are usually on a long lead but they are notorious for getting wound up into something, therefore, shortening their leash which causes complaining on their part and aggravation on my part. Lucy had been connected to a heavy chair but as I was walking around doing a bit of things I suddenly noticed a dog walking around outside of their leash zone...it was Miss Lucy Goosey. She decided that she did not want to be attached to anything and chewed herself free....and she just wandered, sniffing away.

...so they were tethered to me. They were happy because they were right near us and no one was going anywhere so they didn't feel the need to have to go, too. So we played a few rounds of dominoes, had a couple beers, got goofy and silly and suddenly I realized that a few seconds before, I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. LUCY!! she chewed through her leash again, claiming freedom. This time, though, she was making a run for it. Our site is up on a hill, which she doesn't really know because she can't see and she starts traipsing down the hill, through the brush, over the rocks and boulders, through the leaves....as we chase after her. Fortunately R. decided to go around by way of the road and catch her at the bottom. She apparently had places to go and people to see. Once caught though, she was relinquished to the camper where she could only peer out the screen door...Now, on the list of things to buy -- a harness and a chain leash. She's so silly. We smile about her all the time. There's just something endearing and silly about her.

Lucy is scheduled for her eye surgery for July 26th. I'm excited to see what happens. We just got a 1.5 year old in with a broken pelvis and thought the money saved for her (a very small portion of it had been donated for her surgery) might have to go to his surgery...but it's looking good that his pelvis is healing because he is now using his leg more.

....This young couple owned the dog -- he is soooooo darn cute!! -- and the dog got hit by a car. He was brought to the vet, they couldn't afford the surgery but didn't want to put him down (which is good) and they were told that if he was crated for a month with little movement he would probably heal...which is true, I guess. After 5 days of trying to care for him, he hadn't pooped or pee'd in 3 of those days due to pain, they called us to surrender him. They waited 3 days before bringing him to us. Shelly had talked to them about his care, bringing him to our vet, x-rays, etc. and they finally, at 8:30pm, 3 days later, brought him to her -- AND FORGOT HIS MEDS! The puppy is in pain with a broken pelvis and you forget the pain medication??? like what the....? Fortunately, Shelly had something she could give him in the meantime of getting him to the vet. Well, we couldn't get the x-rays from the original vet because the owners didn't pay the balance of their bill, so we had to get him x-rayed. Because of the amount of time that lapsed, it was too late for surgery BUT after a few weeks if the healing isn't good then he will have to have surgery. So Shelly has kept him quiet, got new pain meds, a stool softener so that it's easier to go....and the little munchkin is starting to use his leg that he couldn't use due to the pelvic pain. Yeyyy for him...he even lifted his leg to pee...those Schnauzers, I'm telling you, they are stubborn and stoic!! If you keep an eye on our site for when he's ready to be adopted and his picture is up -- you will fall for him, too. He's so darn innocently cute and apparently a very good boy, too. The vet, during the visit of examining him, kept saying, "he's such a good boy".  He's so cute you want to squish him and eat him up.

So it's looking like Lucy can keep her eye surgery appointment...fingers crossed, nothing comes up.

PA Puppy Mills News Release

It is from one of these places that Lucy, Astro and two female siblings my SPR partner is fostering, came from. If you read the article and watch the Youtube video, it's the last sentence spoken by the newscaster that hits home with me.

Lucy and Astro are the first two puppy mill dogs I have cared for. Astro was fortunate in that he was not as scarred emotionally and I was able to adopt him out, but the new owner had some work to do to acclimate him to family life. My fear is that Lucy will not be able to recover from the emotional trauma...and that breaks my heart.

Read the news, watch the video, just to give yourself a little bit of information on how careless puppy mill owners are and how unfortunate it is for the dogs.

Lucy...continued...

Yesterday I spoke with an animal communicator. Her name is Brenda and she was recommended to me a long while back by a woman that I've rehomed 3 dogs to. The information she provided for Gail was very interesting and actually helped her elderly male get off one medication that was making him feel sick and onto another that gave him a little more spring in his step. She also found out that her new poodle (yup, occasionally we take in another breed that needs us) was flabbergasted that Sparky (the older male) wasn't protecting her from all the noise that scared her coming from outside. Brenda helped inform Ellie (poodle) that Sparky was deaf and didn't hear what she heard. Ellie also let Gail know that she loves purple and then pink....Gail, the doting dog mom that she is, went out and bought purple collars, leashes, sweaters, bedding...Ellie was very pleased.

I recommended Brenda to a friend, she's used her twice for her rescued cat, Clara Belle, that seems to be having some difficulty acclimating to the rules of the house (and the older seasoned cat Lottie) Lottie's apparently not so thrilled with Clara Belles constant chatter, either. Hee Hee Clara Belle is a chatter box!

I know many people are cynical when it comes to the spirit life and people talking to them, and if you are reading and you are a non-believer and just intend to make fun of this...move along to your next blog. I happen to believe because the information she gets that coordinates with the dogs life, and then you see the changes in the dog? works for me. Of course, I've been a long time believer in the spirit world, the after life, etc. It fascinates me. I've been to John Edwards' seminar as well as Suzanne Northrop's and it's AMAZING!

So, I spoke with Brenda, well, Weezie, Lucy, Hanz and I spoke with Brenda yesterday.
This is what everyone had to say:

First Weezie 
(she wanted to go first- I think she wanted to go first 3 years ago when I talked with a different animal communicator!)

She knows that I'm paying attention to her
she's resting a lot but knows I am here  (she sleeps all the time)
she's unsure of how long her body will keep her standing.
she has weakness in back legs and feels like her body wants to stop

she takes a lot of naps because resting feels perfect
when she wakes up she doesn't know if she'll be able to move or not - in her dreams she can always move.
it is disheartening to move.

(she's been having trouble, I've noticed, when waking and trying to get up, she seems a little disoriented -probably from the deep sleep- and her legs take a bit of wobbling before standing -- I have had the feeling for quite some time that she will go in her sleep)

she doesn't want to leave her body right now but is thinking of leaving
the food she's eating is good right now with no discomfort, it didn't feel right before, like it didn't go through. (I had a period of time where each food I gave her she'd have trouble with and would be waking me up 4 or 5 times a night to go out, I could hear her stomach having difficulty digesting and she'd go a couple days of not eating. This would happen about every 9 days)
she has continual body aches but no real excruciating pain

She's happy "this is a good house for any dog"
She knows that I know that she is ready to leave, she feels she might just fall asleep and not awake, she doesn't feel like she will need help.
she's uncomfortable, feeling weakness.

She said that if she is going to need help to leave, I will know because she will not attempt to rise and will not accept food.
she feels weak

I asked why she is so demanding...she said it's because she wants what she wants NOW, so that she doesn't fall before she gets it.

I asked about grooming: (I was grooming her the other night and she had even less tolerance than usual which I've noticed over the past few months) she said she can't sit, brushing feels like it's pushing her to the ground, she doesn't mean to be cross, she just doesn't want it, "leave me alone"


Then Lucy:

Brenda started off chuckling because Lucy says:

"I'm very pretty you know" and "I have beautiful eyes." I'm told how beautiful I am and how pretty my eyes are. she was showing Brenda what looked like black marbles. "I can see everything and they are beautiful"
she doesn't think she has vision problems (I had not told Brenda that Lucy is basically blind from cataracts)
the right eye is a little darker, straight on and no peripheral, it doesn't see as well as the left eye.
Left eye seems brighter, she'll see something then double take, it's like she sees things but her brain doesn't click in.

no pain in head or eyes, no pressure behind eyes, clear nasal passage.
right eye was at one time functioning as left but has deteriorated. (it is her right eye that throws her off)

she doesn't like noise behind her, when she hears it she turns to the right but can't see so whips around to the left

(I asked if she liked being touched and picked up because she is so nervous at first -- although, with me, she has gotten so much better) 
she doesn't like being picked up under her torso, she'd prefer to be picked up more like a football and hugged close.
she loves hearing how beautiful she is
she does like to be near me when I am sitting quietly

she doesn't like to be carried while walking, she can hear my footsteps, because she's afraid of being dropped. If there was carpet and she couldn't hear my footsteps it would be OK
doesn't mind being touched, talk to her first, present hand and touch her head and ears to behind neck first, don't touch body first.

She's a happy girl
she says, "I smell good!" meaning she likes the way she smells (she does have a distinctive scent to her)
her body feels good
"this food is good, my fur is not as greasy" (when she came, her fur was different feeling than now, and I had noticed it's shinier)

She wants to know about walks and why isn't anyone going out walking with her anymore?
she likes hearing the steps and watching the feet and she misses this. she showed someone sitting on a step. she likes knowing someone is outside. (It's only been recent that I've been outside more often with her because she is staying outside longer, I've never really walked with her, she doesn't get walked with and is fearful of the leash. I'm wondering if this could be from the puppy mill. Did they go outside with the dogs and hang out for the dogs' few minutes of outside?) Apparently I need to go outside with her more often! LOL
(I do sit out on the back step when they are outside, usually with a bite to eat or some tea)
it brings her comfort

I told Brenda about her eyes and asked Lucy if she wanted the surgery. Brenda explained to her what the surgery was and what the results would be. "yes, she wants to see, but she doesn't want the surgery, she's scared."

Brenda explained the process to her and she said "OK, I'll be brave"

She likes the music I play when I play it. It's soft, it doesn't go from soft to loud, soft to loud. (I've hesitated playing music too often because I was told that it can sometimes be bothersome to puppy mill dogs due to the association. Puppy mills will sometimes play music continuously, probably feeling that this keeps the dogs company? my music is a bit more mellow and is from an MP3 player so it's on a loop)

I asked about her hoarding bedding and toys. she does it so no one else puts their scent on them. essentially, she doesn't like to share. 
I asked about eating them, to her eating them = hiding them. she puts the toys toward the back of the crate. (this she does) so no one can get them. 


Brenda explained that she can't eat these items, that she can only have food and treats. that eating these things might make her die.
she thought dying would be scary, so, "OK"

she feels unable to defend herself when the big dogs come in. (I'm thinking this might be from the stronger personalities of my fosters, not necessarily actual size, although, they generally are a little bigger)

she said she didn't like swallowing string (I think I mentioned in a previous post, string is what finally came out in her poop after not eating for 6 days) 
she said she had a hard time with it, like she couldn't swallow, had a hard time swallowing.
Brenda explained that food is to eat, the other stuff is for play --  food = good, other stuff = not good
"OK" she said

she doesn't like guys with muscle shirts and "pictures on their arms" nor does she like piercings on noses, etc. (I'm thinking that maybe some of the dog handlers/kennel cleaners, who knows, maybe the owners, were of that style and I'm guessing, not loving and caring humans)


Hanzie's turn:

Brenda started laughing!

she said, "he's a Happy Guy!"  (if you ever met Hanz, you'd say the same thing, everyone does)

Hanz said, "oh boy, I haven't got all kinds of things to say" (like Lucy and Weezie did?)

he likes the color blue, he likes things that are blue

he doesn't like his fur to be wet. (he has always disliked going out in the rain and will hold his pee forever in order to not go out)
he likes the smell of toast (there's toast made every morning)
I asked about his need for food all the time, (he's very very food oriented, so much so that he has a hard time concentrating on a trick I've asked him to do)....


"I'm not fat enough" wants more, wants mom's plate of food, the food that's being scraped off the plate being thrown away. (it's not being thrown away unless it is garbage, I'll give him some leftovers or they go into a container -- which to him might be 'throwing away')

Nothing can ever fill him up. He's never felt full. He feels that as soon as he eats, he poops and he should eat again. (he is a pooping machine)
he said he likes to roll around and when done he says, "oh, I'm so hungry"
She asked if he should get more meals, he said he didn't want things to change, he just wants more, he accepts that he is always hungry.

he's internally strong, heart will race sometimes, muscles are good, skeletal -- his right front leg bothers him once in awhile, the wrist to the elbow feels like it was jammed, it happens when there is mud. (mud = rain? arthritis?)

CAR: when in the car his stomach feels funny but he will work through it because he wants to be able to go...he thinks to get ice cream. (I don't take him in the car often but started to a little more to get him used to it, but I've never taken him for ice cream)

I asked if I was giving him enough as a dog mom: (I have this personal issue thinking that he would do better with someone that could give him more time, etc.) he doesn't want to live somewhere else, doesn't want to be with other dogs, "they might bite my butt."
He wants to make sure I don't have someone coming in to look at him to take him.

I asked what he thought about the fosters coming in: he doesn't mind the fosters, he knows that when they are behind the wall (he was showing Brenda like a gate or half wall -- must mean crate) that they would not be staying. (99% get crated the first week at least.)


Well, I thought it was pretty cool. It helps me to understand some things and to practice patience with my Weezie.

The way Brenda relayed the message that Lucy was saying "I'm so pretty" was so cute. You could picture this little girl beaming with pride about her beauty. It's funny, because just about any time I talk to her I say, "hello pretty girl" or "are you hungry pretty girl?" and Lenore has commented on how beautiful she and her spirit is. There is something about her.


I moved her crate into my office yesterday. I really needed to get it out of the kitchen so that I could put my table where I want it then the chandelier can be hung. She didn't "get it" which I understand. It's difficult enough that she's blind, but she's scared to come to close, so you can't catch her and if you do it freaks her out. I thought this might take awhile for her to get where her crate is now. I put her into it last night, let her out about 4am and she went back to her crate! then let her out at 5am and she went back to her crate! Yeyyyyyy. Yesterday she just hung out in the back corner of the kitchen all day.  BUT she doesn't like it when Weezie goes to her crate to lay down which is right beside Lucy's. Lucy yells at her. Maybe this is part of the "not be able to defend myself" Now that I think about it...I've had two fosters in here that when they got too close to her crate she would bark at them. Hanz, though, he can walk right into her crate with her and she doesn't care. He's such a sweetie that's why.


If any of you are reading this and feel maybe you'd like to get in touch with your animal -- alive or deceased, click here for Brenda's info. On top of it all, she has a wonderful voice, very calm, sweet and soothing.

Emotions suck sometimes

There's been stuff going on in the dog world around here.

Megan got adopted last night by a very nice couple. She will have a 12 year old canine sibling who is feeling the loss of his sister who was his littermate and they grew up together until she passed a month ago. He hasn't been quite the same since. Hopefully Megan will be able to give him the companionship he is missing.

For those of you keeping track of Lucy's progress, I have a story...it could be long...

Two Mondays ago Lucy was supposed to have her eye surgery (May 10.) The Monday before that it was cancelled because the vet became unavailable. Notice I said she was supposed to have eye surgery on the 10th? Well, it got cancelled. She was throwing up all day Sunday and then again Monday morning. I drove my hour long highway drive to the vet and told them what was going on. I knew they would opt out of surgery...and they did. It really was in the best interest of Lucy, but totally frustrating for me. SO, we scheduled again for this past Monday (the 17th). I cancelled on Friday...this is why:

Lucy hadn't eaten all week. She wasn't interested in much of anything, was quiet, pensive, not doing too well overall, but still was going outside to pee and going out of her crate to get some water. I figured it was an obstruction of some sort because she does like to destuff her toys and then eat parts of them, rip them apart, etc. She does this to toweling and bedding, too.

On Thursday, I called a local vet and made an appointment for Saturday, maybe they could tell me if it actually was an obstruction. I figured it would require x-rays. Thursday late morning I talked with my co-owner of SPR, Shelly, and we agreed that due to her personality, lack of much progress, blindness that we might not be able to fix (I'll tell you why in a few..) and the cost of what surgery they might suggest to remove said obstruction, and the fact that it may happen again because she eats things...we decided it was really in her best interest to not go to the vet, and to cancel the eye surgery because there was no way they'd be operating on a girl that hadn't eaten all week -- and just let her be.

This is the 3rd time the surgery was cancelled, Lucy seemed to be getting impatient with the 4x a day eye drops...and the money we were promised for donations didn't come through. There had to be a message here. I had to listen.

Shelly and I talked again and decided that Lucy would be euthanized. You don't even know how heartbroken with that decision I was. I wasn't ready. I knew it was probably the best answer because she was starting to starve at this point and I didn't want to put her through that. I knew it was what we had to do, but I wasn't 100% on it that day. I wanted to wait, to get through the weekend, and I figured on Monday it would be the humane thing to do if she still hadn't eaten.

I cried. I felt bad. I felt so sorry for her terrible life she's had.

On Friday -- I cried more. I wrote a note to the eye surgeon telling her our decision and the reasons for it. I would have had to cancel the appointment anyway due to lack of funds (this surgery would completely wipe us out and then some. Add the cost of visits, meds, etc. and it will end up well over $3000, plus we have to get meds and visits for the other 2 female puppy mill dogs that came in with Lucy.)

As I'm writing an email to the vet, I received a comment from Kimberj from the blog, Arthur and I. She wrote to tell me that after having her Australian Shepherd for 13.5 years, a best friend that's been by her side every day -- they would be putting him down. I felt so bad for her, wrote her a note, and felt even worse because I was telling her that I was in the middle of making the same decision.

(Kim, if you are reading this...I hope you have received my notes...my thoughts are with you at this time of loss and sorrow.)

I cried HARD. So hard I thought I was going to pass out. My heart hurt for Kim, my heart ached for Lucy. Was I letting her down? Was I doing the right thing? I've gotten to know her and have her in my heart....this is why emotions suck...they cloud your thinking.

So, after all that decision making, vet appointment canceling, feelings of loss and sorrow, telling a few people of the decision and being pissed at the people that brought her into the world like this and treated her like shit...she ate a treat. The damn dog ate a treat. A couple hours later she went outside, I followed, I wanted to see if there were any signs, any possibility of a bowel movement. There was. A sort of healthy one that included string and whatever else. She came in and was hungry. Yes, hungry! I gave her some food, not too much because I didn't want her heaving after not eating for 6 days. She wanted more.

Then Saturday comes and she's a bit of a different dog. She's more alert and active than before she got sick. She changed. She seems brighter, lighter, less scared. She's HUNGRY! She's been roaming the whole house and not just two rooms. She's been going outside and not staying on her typical path but actually going out INTO the yard. She changed. It's wonderful. She's not 100% by any means but she was making 1% changes and this was more like a 20% change.

A friend of mine suggested that maybe what her spirit needed was to know she was really wanted and loved and that's why she came out of it, and even changed.

She's still scared, but she's curious. I've been hand feeding her. She is so food oriented and feeling a little calmer and safer that she comes to wherever I am for some food. I give her a few nuggets at a time. I change where I am in the house, sometimes some places make her nervous but the desire for food is stronger and she comes. SHE COMES! It's sooooo great. What's even better is that she goes to R. when he's offering food. So now when people come over, I will have them hold out food for her so she can get used to different people.

A couple days ago we received a $50 donation to go toward her surgery. Another sign to go ahead? that it will all work out? It's the first one. I was so touched. It meant so much. Someone other than we who know her, wants to be a part of her receiving sight. Isn't that so great!?

Now we are back to scheduling her for the eye surgery. We decided "what the hell, you only live once." we'll figure out the payment thing.

Keep fingers crossed that everything stays good.

Miniature Schnauzer LUCY and other SPR news...

check this out: 

I forgot and left Lucy's crate open one day while I was gone. She likes to roam around and get things to hoard, or tear apart apparently. This is my 7'x 7' hallway, the door on the left is to my office and on the right is to my bedroom. The orange blanket is usually under the bed where the dogs sleep. She probably wasn't successful in getting it to her crate in the kitchen because it got a little unwieldy. The zebra stripe was a good size dog bed, located in the living room, why she dragged it this way I don't know. Oh, in case you can't tell....she likes to destuff things, she does it to every toy she hoards. Not right away though, it takes a few days. Look, it seems she likes my Stegmans and R.'s socks, too. I laughed when I saw this --the little pip. I couldn't be mad at her.

Well, she's been in my care now for 5 months and small amounts of progress have been made. She lives in her crate still by choice, only to come out and roam a bit when she thinks I'm not around. 

We've been to the ophthalmologist and she is a candidate for cataract surgery. Right now I am prepping her eyes for it by putting drops in 4x a day, both eyes. After surgery, this protocol continues but it could be with up to 4 or 5 meds. Annnnnnnd, how am I going to work? I can't think about it, I get stressed. 

We have some people that have wanted to donate toward her surgery, so far, I'm not sure of the total amount that is but her surgery will cost up to $2500. Typically, it would be at least a thousand dollars more but the vet is donating her surgical time. When she told me that, I cried. I'm so awful at accepting gifts, this just touched me in so many ways. I'm tearing up just thinking about it. ugh.

We, of course, are hoping that when she has sight she will be able to feel more comfortable in starting to be a dog that enjoys life, then we can hopefully find someone(s) that will have a big heart to take them into their home. Keep fingers crossed. 

One thing I did learn is that when a dog has cataracts, it can be painful due to swelling that occurs. So, if you have a dog that has them, mild or severe, get to the eye vet for some medication, because dogs are stoic and you'll never know by them! The other two girls that came in with Lucy have appointments so we can get some meds. I'm so glad we ventured on this route with Lucy, because I've learned something very important. 

Her surgery is May 3.

Other news...Badger was rehomed and is now named Max. He is very loved and getting lots of attention.

He looks like pretty happy to me!!

Coming next week...12 year old Megan, supposedly a very sweet girl who's owner died. She'll be coming here.